sixth

5) What do you believe and why?

 

What do I believe…?

 

I believe that I’m an emasculated imbecile who likes to complain a lot. And thusly I also believe that God is the only way to salvation. 

 

I hated rules and still do. I hated to do things according to the rules. I hated to follow the common trend. Since childhood I wanted things in my way.

 

Everything that should be will be.

 

This was the idea that I used to motivate myself to do things. The majority of the things I did were stupid and not worth anything at all but I continued to do them. Instead of following the given rules, I substituted my own.

 

The biggest influence of this way of thinking was my big brother. In all the things I did, my brother was better at it. So, I came up with things that my brother couldn’t do: make new stuff. When I did things, I always tried to come up with different things and take alternative ways. Then, instead of comparing and competing myself to others, I wanted to form my own standard where I can do whatever I want and nobody will do anything about it.

           

I pretty much thought and did whatever I felt like doing until I met God. God sort of set a wall in front of me, a wall which I can never destroy, go through, or climb over. I tried to avoid the wall but then it was like I was trapped by the wall. I learned I was weak. I can do anything but not in front of God.

 

Thusly, I learned that I’m an emasculated imbecile who likes to complain a lot. And because of that, I believe that God is the only way to salvation. 

 

This is what I believe.